While the Crescendo blares in my ears, I have been attending traditional 12-Step meetings as a means to build a sobriety practice. I attend two different meetings a week, an AA meeting and an NA meeting. I am relating to each meeting differently, but a common theme between them involves the inescapable Christian underpinnings of … read more
Whatever sobriety I had attained that made me call an end to the Quiet Crisis proved to be false; a manufacturing supply chain issue had removed the inhalants from sale and thus, I had no choice but to be sober from them. When the product returned to the shelves, my Quiet Crisis returned and raised … read more
The pyre has burned itself out and the Quiet Crisis drew to a close, followed a period of spiritual isolation and recovery. With the pandemic still a thing, this entailed some physical isolation as well, but I have returned to exploring my spiritual and sexual self.
In The Quiet Crisis, Part 1, I detailed my issues with using inhalants and how their use has become a mild crisis in my life that needs to be addressed. As a professed Black Cleric of Lucifer, it’s up to me to drive myself toward higher levels of personal development, so I formulated how best … read more
Not all pyres burn like a flaming pillar or a raging wildfire. Some are just white hot points of focused sunlight on your skin, boring a hole through your core sunrise by sunrise. The Pyre I had foretold, thusly, snuck into my life without fanfare or immediate recognition, only becoming apparent when work on my … read more
Lately, I have felt the presence of my personal Satan lurking in the corners of my consciousness and Marbas has moved me to explore my shadow-self as a means to further my training. With divinations pointing toward a coming crisis, it makes sense to attempt to get ahead of any brewing problems, so I did … read more
Over the last month, I have had success with aligning myself with Marbas’ will re: Never Climax Alone. Now, the Blood Moon has passed and the NCA working has been solidfied and made reality, so I ponder what waits down the line in my dedication to Marbas. I seek to deepen my connection with Marbas, … read more
In seeking to deepen my spiritual connection to Marbas, I venerate him every day, opening myself his knowledge and energies. I asked him what could I do to further my ascension with him and he responded, as he has before: “Never Climax Alone.” Knowing that I have attempted rounds of NoFap — and failed — … read more
In our world, it takes almost nothing to see male toxicity everywhere we gaze. From the sexual abuse against women that came to light during the #MeToo movement, to the pedophile priests preying on parishioners, to the Proud Boys and insurgents that assaulted the capital to install fascism…it abounds. As a boy, I grew up … read more
Recent months have been difficult and I’ve been pushing through issues related to my family’s conservative values and Catholic religious beliefs with how those things inhibit my relating to them. As the Trump presidency played out, I became more radicalized in my own belief and less willing to let my parents and siblings off the … read more