The pyre has burned itself out and the Quiet Crisis drew to a close, followed a period of spiritual isolation and recovery. With the pandemic still a thing, this entailed some physical isolation as well, but I have returned to exploring my spiritual and sexual self.
In our world, it takes almost nothing to see male toxicity everywhere we gaze. From the sexual abuse against women that came to light during the #MeToo movement, to the pedophile priests preying on parishioners, to the Proud Boys and insurgents that assaulted the capital to install fascism…it abounds. As a boy, I grew up … read more
Recent months have been difficult and I’ve been pushing through issues related to my family’s conservative values and Catholic religious beliefs with how those things inhibit my relating to them. As the Trump presidency played out, I became more radicalized in my own belief and less willing to let my parents and siblings off the … read more
My NoFap sponsor directed me to the Narcotics Anonymous (NA) text, It Works: How and Why, to prepared for my Step 6. I picked up a copy from Amazon on my Kindle and read the Step 6 chapter. Immediately, I remembered my previous Step 6 from years ago, and more importantly, who I used to … read more
The astral experiences I’m now calling “Riding the Pipe Horse” came to fruition last night; for reference, here is Part 1 and Part 2 of the experience. In it, I am bound in the Palace of Asmodai, having an apotheosis experience with him as part of an ongoing spiritual evolution.
Yesterday, I had the privilege of video chatting with Jack Drago, my mentor and Satanic Priest, to go over my defect inventory as part of my Step 5. While much of that conversation was private, I believe my post on the Step 4 inventory goes over much of my part of it. Because I’m documenting … read more
I have a pretty scrambled head right now. The on-going effort to comply with Marbas’ commands to NoFap are doing a number on my libido and brain chemistry. I believe it’s to good effect, as I have also found myself getting more spiritually oriented and, from the 4 Step inventory, starting to address and resolve … read more
Recent meditations on my spiritual self and on new tasks assigned to me by my patron, Marbas, led me back to imagery from an astral encounter with him from several months ago. With any growth, new information has to sink into all layers of your being, physical, emotional, mental, spiritual, to be fully assimilated. With … read more
As I described in my last post, I’ve been given a spiritual prohibition against masturbation by my principle patron, Marbas. This is the second time he’s made this request. The first time, I had an unfortunate failure of willpower and gave into the impulse. That resulted in a lengthy period of near impotence, which I … read more
When I engage my spiritual patrons, I communicate with them via creative imagery, projecting myself to another place. With the Covid-19 crisis unfolding around Atlanta, the country, and the world, my spiritual energies have been overtaken by the bandwidth needed to process the stress of daily life. I haven’t had as much spirit time as … read more