Whatever sobriety I had attained that made me call an end to the Quiet Crisis proved to be false; a manufacturing supply chain issue had removed the inhalants from sale and thus, I had no choice but to be sober from them. When the product returned to the shelves, my Quiet Crisis returned and raised … read more
In The Quiet Crisis, Part 1, I detailed my issues with using inhalants and how their use has become a mild crisis in my life that needs to be addressed. As a professed Black Cleric of Lucifer, it’s up to me to drive myself toward higher levels of personal development, so I formulated how best … read more
Not all pyres burn like a flaming pillar or a raging wildfire. Some are just white hot points of focused sunlight on your skin, boring a hole through your core sunrise by sunrise. The Pyre I had foretold, thusly, snuck into my life without fanfare or immediate recognition, only becoming apparent when work on my … read more
Lately, I have felt the presence of my personal Satan lurking in the corners of my consciousness and Marbas has moved me to explore my shadow-self as a means to further my training. With divinations pointing toward a coming crisis, it makes sense to attempt to get ahead of any brewing problems, so I did … read more
In our world, it takes almost nothing to see male toxicity everywhere we gaze. From the sexual abuse against women that came to light during the #MeToo movement, to the pedophile priests preying on parishioners, to the Proud Boys and insurgents that assaulted the capital to install fascism…it abounds. As a boy, I grew up … read more
Recent months have been difficult and I’ve been pushing through issues related to my family’s conservative values and Catholic religious beliefs with how those things inhibit my relating to them. As the Trump presidency played out, I became more radicalized in my own belief and less willing to let my parents and siblings off the … read more
It’s been almost two solid months since I posted anything, and the seasons are changing. There has been much upheaval going down in my personal life, which has impacted my spiritual practice and left me somewhat unmoored. Similar upheavals in the lives of my spiritual network and my friends have also contributed, but things are … read more
When I sleep, I sometimes walk the Astral plane without my direct intention, and last week I had a couple of experiences in Lucifer’s Orrery, where I am apparently being instructed in aspects of sorcery. This instruction is something I requested and it’s happening semi-consciously. I thought I’d share the experiences.
As a nation, we’re still processing the images we’ve seen from the Capital Incursion, the literal coup attempt on our nation perpetrated not by a foreign power, but by our own disgruntled citizens. For those of us who are masculine, pagan or Luciferian, and gay, the images were oddly, both disturbing for their political content, … read more
Last night, through a combination of logistical factors, I didn’t sleep well. I had several unsettling dreams and record them here. All of these are NSFW and are fragments that have no beginning or end. These are either just snippets of my subconscious knocked loose by my general state of arousal (Day 100 of NoFap!) … read more