As a nation, we’re still processing the images we’ve seen from the Capital Incursion, the literal coup attempt on our nation perpetrated not by a foreign power, but by our own disgruntled citizens. For those of us who are masculine, pagan or Luciferian, and gay, the images were oddly, both disturbing for their political content, but arousing for their depiction of masculinity.
Q-Bacca
As a gay, masculine man, I am understandably drawn to the images of masculine men. This includes, but isn’t limited to, the way these fit, middle-aged men were dressed, how they wore their facial hair — how they appeared — but also how they acted. I can say also, that, being involved in BDSM, the aggression and dominance these men showed also triggered by submissive nature.
None of the men in the crowd exemplified this more than Jake Angeli, the so-called Q-Shaman. He’s one of the leaders of the insurrection, a member of the fringe conspiracy group QAnon (hence his name). He appeared in the crowd shirtless, wearing appropriated Nordic/Asatru tattoos on his muscular, hairy torso, and wearing a buffalo head cowl complete with horns (I believe this to be appropriated garb from the Sioux Nation, but I don’t have confirmation of this at this writing).
Since the insurrection on 1/6 and over the weekend as consequences began falling on those men and women, a phenomenon has occurred on gay porn Twitter. There were those who posted pics of the Q-Shaman thirsting after him and, just as swiftly, a backlash against those who admitted being attracted to him, because of his involvement in these reprehensible, indefensible events.
This morning, I came across what I realize now was an inevitable next step in this process: Q-Shaman Porn. I came across the video of a guy who superficially resembles Jake Angeli, wearing the Q-Shaman garb, impaling himself on a dildo. I just commented “Too Soon.”
Appropriation
I’m not one to hop on the “appropriation” vilification bandwagon. I can understand where communities and cultures come from when they decry the use of their sacred symbols or garb by undeserving people and used in inappropriate ways; I feel somewhat that way regarding the Nordic/Asatru symbology that has been appropriated by QAnon and right-wing conservative men.
But, I believe stronger in diversity and cultural intermix. I don’t believe that any single group holds ownership of the “truth” that these symbols might represent or that, if they genuinely feel aligned with the original community, why they shouldn’t wear the garb to express that solidarity. For instance, as a gay man, I have zero issue with most people wearing rainbow clothing, even if it’s not directly associated with the LGBTIA+ community.
As such, Jake Angeli and his ilk have as much right — in my mind — to get the tattoos that are meaningful to them and to wear their “insurrection cosplay” because it speaks to their community. I personally think that they’re offbase with really understanding the symbols and shouldn’t wear the garb of the people they have historically exterminated because it’s in terrible taste, but, as a Luciferian, I concede they have as much RIGHT to be offensive as I have to be offended. That’s how personal choice works.
Collision
But, if you take two opposing forces, there is likely to be fall-out. Inside a man like himself (and among others whom I have heard from and read posts from), I have the primal sexual attraction to the images of men who present to represent aspects of my sexuality and spirituality, but at the same time are also engaged in seditious, treasonous actions against our government in the hopes of performing an actual coup and putting into place their conservative social agenda, which is completely against every aspect of my sexuality and spirituality.
These forces have collided inside of me and it’s uncomfortable in the extreme, possibly even damaging, as I process it.
What I have to remind myself is that, no matter how they present, these men do not actually represent anything admirable. They are literal criminals. They are literal traitors. They literally stand against every freedom I personally believe in supporting.
The BDSM and Fetish community remains drawn to images of strong men. In fact, the Old School BDSM community evolved from the military, hence it’s discipline, the look of its gear, etc. This evolved to include military, para-military, and police uniforms of all stripes. So, now it probably includes the Proud Boys and their ilk.
Over the Summer, as the Black Lives Matters protests erupted, I began to avoid retweeting images of cops or men with guns (surprising, there are porn shoots that revolve around men brandishing guns). Were they hot? Yes, their images were attractive. But, they were not what I wanted to revere.
I think that, to process these images for what they are and not take a massive self-esteem hit for being attracted to them, I have to separate the image from the person. I have to realize that men everywhere have the choice to wear what they find makes them attractive, or increases solidarity with their community, or expresses whatever spiritual truth they feel necessary to express.
I don’t have to buy into the message they’re trying to send just because they are wearing something that I find attractive or that itself is one of the symbols by which I define myself. If they have an All Father tattoo because their QAnon buddies all have one, that doesn’t invalidate anyone else’s use of the All Father tattoo to express a true belief in the Asatru faith.
Part of Luciferianism — and ultimately, living in a diverse society — involves allowing others to make their choices, suffer their consequences, and to shield our own identities from that process. We each choose our identities an the communities to which we adhere and yes, we mimic the signs, signals, and garb of those communities to fit in, to be accepted, but for each of us, it’s a personal choice to do so.
Just because some racist, white supremacist asshole wears the same shirt as you, doesn’t make your wearing of the shirt invalid.
Even so…regarding the Q-Shaman porn? Dude, read the room: Too Fucking Soon.
